It's not Cinco de Mayo...It's Cinco de Pegs!

A couple of years ago, Amy renamed the Mexican holiday after me (and rightfully so) since I share my birthday with Mexico's biggest reason to fiesta. So from now on, it's not Cinco de Mayo--it's Cinco de Pegs! Amy, Chrissy, and Chrissy's college roommate Melissa came in town for the weekend to fiesta together and it was so fun!

Of course before the blog can get started, we have to have some Wilbert shots. I mean, really does it ever get old?

Basically, Wilbert will stay in whatever position I put him in...he's THAT mellow. So I sat him upright on the couch and there he sat for about 30 minutes. Sticking his tongue out, however, was his idea.

Johnny Carino's--happy birthday to me a la baked cheese tortelloni & a hot waiter :)

L-R: Amy, me, Chrissy, Melissa

Chrissy brought her brother's dog, who also happens to be Wilbert's cousin, as you can tell. Just teasing. Duke is a half-dachsund/half German shepherd so you can imagine the looks we got when we took these 2 to the dog park.

Pitiful begging for breakfast...Melissa held firmly to her bacon

Chrissy & Mels

Me enjoying my turtle cheesecake birthday dessert

Amy stealing my birthday dessert!

Amy & I reconciled after the dessert fiasco

All in all, a fantabulous weekend. Other highlights included dinner with some of my home group girls so my worlds collided...in a good way. We also went to the annual ArtWear show at UNT, which is the senior show for our Fashion Design students--really fun!

For those keeping count, I turned 29. I actually did. I have found that a _9 birthday invites people to ask, "REALLY?" because they think I'm avoiding my 30s by saying I'm 29. So, no, really...29. And also, thanks a lot. Do I need to start using anti-wrinkle cream?

The Power of the French Simile

Il pleut comme vache qui pisse.

Kari (see blog link to the right) recently learned this phrase in her continued efforts to "French it up" since she's been living in Lyon. Besides being overjoyed that I remembered enough French to understand the phrase before reading her elaboration, I also found the profundity of the saying to be blog-worthy. On my blog, not hers, I mean.

Translated, the phrase means "It's raining like a peeing cow." I mean, seriously...don't you just want to walk up to someone and say it? Now, if taken literally, I could expand on its meaning with an example from last night.

The fifth worst storm on record in North Texas happened last night. While Denton missed the brunt of the winds (up to 100 mph in some areas), the southern portion of DFW was slammed and 300,000 people have no power today. Schools are closed, etc. In short, il pleut comme vache qui pisse.

The profundity, however, occurs when the phrase is taken figuratively. Think of the possibilities! I liken the meaning to that of, "It's raining cats and dogs." Both phrases, of course, can refer to the weather conditions. However, they can also mean that trouble just keeps piling on, as in, "When it rains, it pours."

Which, by the way, also reminds me of one of my favorite comic characters, Charlie Brown, who had the proverbial rain cloud constantly over his head because bad things kept happening to him (self-fulfilling prophecy, perhaps? but that's another blog post altogether). To which I would tell Charlie through the magic television box as an 8 year old, "Cheer up, Charlie Brown...it can only pleut comme vache qui pisse for so long."

My own little Super Walmart

So, you know how when you go to Walmart (Super or not), you usually either have a list of totally unrelated items to get or you end up walking out of the store with a set of completely unrelated items. That's what this post is...my unrelated notes, observations, thoughts, conversations, etc. from the last several days.

At the Gym
I will never wear anything with the words "cheer," "dance," or anything else written on my rear end.

I will never work out in a matching velvet jumpsuit.

I will never like the girls who wear either of the above, especially at the gym.

The girls who wear the above are 9 times out of 10 not at the gym to work out, but to LOOK out...as in, at the guys stretching their big muscles.

I should take one of my headphones out of my ear before asking someone if they are using the core ball on the mat next to them. I'm pretty sure I yelled at someone when I did not intend to.

I need to be more aware of my surroundings and less inside my head, lest I end up singing out loud while on the treadmill...a little "Gold Digger" came out the other day.

It's ok to cut one of my sets short if the blasted oblique machine opens up...someone is ALWAYS on it, so I've learned to make a run for it when it's free.


At Work
If you are carrying a set of 2 x 4 wood planks, please do not cut a corner closely or at 30 mph. I almost got my head knocked off by an art student doing this today.

I'll just let the kids call me ma'am. Even if I feel ancient, they are being polite...and that's good. Besides, if I call them "kids," it's only fair that they can call me "ma'am," right?

At Home
Don't leave Wilbert to frolic on the balcony alone. He gets his adrenaline moving from being so excited and can nearly clear the wall. Splattered Wilbert would not be pretty.

Sometimes being neat and organized means I can't find an extra quarter under the couch when it's needed. Perhaps I should become a little messier.

My new cell sucks. I need to go replace it. Every other word out of my mouth is, "Huh?" because the earpiece leaves something to be desired.

With Friends
I have some good ones. I think I'll keep them.

Honesty is the best policy.

After they tell you something important is coming up, call after to see how things went. It lets them know you think they're special so they don't have to guess at it.

Go to church together. Eat together. Laugh together. Pray together. Be together.

With the Opposite Sex
Hold your cards close and proceed with caution. But do proceed.

Remember that God knows you better than you know yourself...my paraphrase of "His ways and thoughts are higher than ours." So, in the end, it's always okay.

They are just people trying to do the best they can too. (Although sometimes their best falls terribly short...then again, so does mine.)

Be yourself. Sometimes, "myself" seems not good enough...I'm not all put together in the right ways...I slip, I say things I don't mean, I can't think of the cute little line until after the moment has passed, I'm sarcastic, and I'm afraid to just say, "I like you." But, I still think I should be myself. Sometime, that imperfect self is going to be just perfect for someone else.

With GOD
Love Him.
Worship Him.
Thank Him.
Trust Him.
Approach Him.
Serve Him.
Share Him.
ALWAYS.

This is what I walked out of my internal Super Walmart with. Unlike Walmart, I didn't have to wait in an unbearably long line or use my debit card. But I do have to wait on a regular basis to learn such lessons and usually they do come with a price. Next time I go to Walmart, I may think of this and not mind the line so much.

Thoughts from Abby on Virginia Tech...

I have been trying to think of something brilliant to post about the horrific events at Virginia Tech University on Monday. I keep coming up with nothing. How do you put these things into words? As someone who works at a large university, I have wondered how safe I really am from time to time. Then again, safety is in the eye of the beholder. Whereever I find myself, I know that I am safe...not because a gunman can't enter the Art building, but because I belong to One who will keep me forever.

So...rather than going on an on, I found Abby's post to be right on. You can link to it (and I encourage you to do so) by clicking on the Abby in Georgia link to the right.

Wedding Bells

This past Saturday, we married off one of our home group girls, Jordan. She's now Mrs. Jesse Guillory. :) Oh, and these pics are obviously not in order.

Sorry it's blurry but it's the only shot I got of them walking out--Mr. & Mrs. Guillory
Home group w/o the Bride
L-R: Linda, Rikki, Juliana, me, Cookie, Abby, Kari

Home group w/ Jordan--she's one in the white dress! :)

Jordan walking in

Our table toasting

(Note Abby on the left, our resident seminarian, with water for her toast!)

Me & Cookie

Linda, Rikki, & Juliana

Jackson, the ring bearer, ran around like a crazy fool--very cute!

Abby & Kari

Worship at the Altar of the Cell Phone

On Wednesday evening, I left a voicemail for my friend Casey. We were planning to meet after church that night, but she had said earlier she didn't know if she could make it. So I left the voicemail to see if it turned out she would make it. (I'm going somewhere with this...stay with me.)

So, I hang up the phone and it was like one of those times in the movies where everything goes in slow motion as I lost my grip on my phone and it went flying up in the air. I tried to catch it. Really, I did. But the phone committed suicide by diving to the concrete ground below.

I have dropped my phone several times. Just a few days before this, I had dropped it and when I picked it up, I could hear something rattling inside. I thought that couldn't be good, but the phone worked so whatever. I only needed it to last another 3 weeks until I was due for an upgrade. 3 weeks.

This time I was not so lucky. The phone hit the concrete and shattered into several pieces. My friend Linda is one of those really smart (and really determined) people and she gave me false hope when she put the pieces back together so it looked fine again. But alas, when we turned on the phone, the keys lit but the screen was totally dead. :(

What survived the fall: the ability to dial and the ability for the person on the other end to hear me.

What did not survive the fall: the ability to hear the other person, the ability to see what I'm dialing (who I'm calling) and the ability for me to screen calls since the face was not working. Boo.

So the conversation I could potentially have would go something like this:
Me: (after dialing for a moment) HELLO? WHO IS THIS?
Other person: silence
Me: Did I call my grandma? I was trying to call my grandma!
Other person: silence
Me: Okay, my phone isn't working! Sorry if I called the wrong number!
Other person: silence

I have no landline. I only have a cell. Thanks to this, I have no one's number memorized. I realized that without my phone, I was able to call a total of two people in the world (if I had a phone, which I didn't)--my grandma and my dad. With the advent of the cell phone, I hadn't memorized any numbers, including my best friends. I have a so-called address book...I think it was last updated in 1999.

I worship my cell phone. I didn't know it until I didn't have it. I couldn't call Casey to find out if she could still go out after church. I couldn't talk to Rick to set up weekend plans. I couldn't call Katie about Friday. Worse, no one could call me. Something could happen to Grandma and she had no way to contact me.

So, as I went to a prayer & fasting meeting at church (how appropriate), I realized another fast I could take sometime would be my cell phone. Contrary to what I thought, I actually survived about 23 hours without a cell phone. To God be the glory.

I got to go home last weekend for Grandma's 86th birthday! It just so happened that Amy was in town for her brother's birthday and Christine's sister was in town too. So we had a hoopla of a weekend!

The Vineyard Wine Bar--our little enclave

L-R: Chrissy, me, Josh, Amy, Christine, Jennifer & Jacqueline

Happy Birthday, dear Grandma

Amy, Amy's cousin Kara, and Kara's son Nathan who is

SOOOOOO cute!

Wilbert--'nuff said.

Seattle Culture

So, a little elaboration on my Seattle experience. The place is like a foreign country with the same language.

Did you know?

1. Carrying an umbrella sends off sirens that you're a tourist. Seattleites simply have a lightweight, midweight and heavyweight jacket with a hood conveniently attached. I was corrected on proper umbrella use twice. Gina laughed in my face when I used one from the car to the grocery store entrance.

2. Taking the bus is something everyone does. There was a good mix of homeless, students, professionals and the elderly hitching a ride on the 120 to downtown. The reason, I'm guessing, is the nightmare that parking presents at 9 out of 10 places you want to go. Incidentally, I managed to take the bus on 3 separate occasions and successfully landed where I wanted each time. And the very first time involved a TRANSFER...I can hear all of you saying, "Oooohhhh" like little kids.

3. Mount Rainier is beautiful, or so I've heard. The cloud cover remained constant throughout my weeklong stay (I did get to see the Olympic Mountains, as you saw in the pictures). Interesting to note, however, that it rains more annually in Houston than Seattle.

4. Seattleites think 80 degrees is a heatwave.

5. There are often codes to get into the restroom at public places.

6. "Mother-in-law" spaces refer to apartments or rooms for rent in which the renter will live in the same house as the landlord.

7. Politeness and courtesy are expected. Friendliness (especially with the word "y'all" attached) gets you a "Who is the crazy person?" look.

8. There are neighborhoods, each with its own distinct personality, throughout the city. It nearly feels like several small towns that just connect at the city limits. My favorites were Greenlake, Wallingford and Alki.

9. Everyone has a dog. And everyone jogs. Usually those two go together at one of the wonderful hiking trails in the city.

10. Everyone wears fleece, jeans and a pair of shoes from REI. This is what I have decided to call GranolaWear. I love GranolaWear...it suits me far more than the "Ever cute, Ever uncomfortable" style of North Texas.

Bonus: So I may have misspoken when I said the language was the same. Can you pronounce these towns, all located within an hour of Seattle?
A. Snohomish
B. Issaquah
C.Puyallup

And my personal favorite, the town my boss grew up in, Wala Wala.

Spring Break in Seattle

I went to Seattle for Spring Break this year. Not the beach paradise that most run to, I realize, but a fabulous trip all the same. My best friend from the EIGHTH GRADE (who I should also note that I haven't had contact with since 1997), Gina, found me on myspace a few months ago and when I found out she lived in Seattle, I decided the time was right for a visit. Other than missing Wilbert (who, you will all be glad to know, had his stitches successfully removed and has recovered quite nicely), I had a great time...here are highlights:

The famous Fremont Troll

Hanging out with the troll...charming fellow, isn't he?

The original Starbucks--looks nothing like any other Starbucks. Nope, I didn't get a drink at this one. But these nice folks did.

The Quad at the University of Washington...the amazing Japanese cherry blossoms were in bloom!

The famous Pike Place Fish Co. These guys are known for throwing huge fish in the air (and yelling stuff no one understands) when you buy them...I thought about buying one just to see it. You'll have to settle for this pic instead. But they did throw a crab, which is strange. I couldn't get the camera out in time. :(

A day clear enough to see the Olympic Mountains!

View of downtown Seattle from the zero deck of the Space Needle

Me & Gina all grown up now, with downtown Seattle behind us. This was at McCormick & Schmick's, a famous seafood restaurant in Seattle.

Greg & Gina--best hosts ever!

Greg & Gina on Alki Beach at sunset

My dream house on Lake Washington
Note the amazing scenery...this is how all of Seattle looks really. This shot is taken from a canoe...a canoe that I was in. That's right, my first canoeing experience. :)

Greg in the front was the Power Source

Gina in back was the Steer-er...hopefully, you have deduced that G&G put me exactly where I belonged, in the middle of the canoe where I could do little damage.

Canoeing under the freeways

Nice catch
The Seattle Skyline from Alki Beach

The error is corrected...

Yay--I defeated the computer...here are the promised pics of Wilbert post-surgery and my trip to Austin. Josh's best friend from high school, Matt, happened to come in town too so Josh & Amy showed both of us the best Austin had to offer!

As promised, a pic of Wilbert the conehead!

Me & Amy

(Yay for spring weather!)

Not sure what would've happened if the UT security had found me at this moment...

We heart our limes!

(I'm not sure why I look scared...)

Josh & Amy enjoy drinks at Shady Grove

Amy found $100 bill at UT-dinner was on her!

Lunch @ the Hula Hut on Lake Travis

L-R: Josh, Matt, Amy, me

Amy & I keep Austin wierd w/Hula Hut shirts while Matt acts cool
Josh & the UT Ex "Hook 'Em"

Stay tuned...

I tried to blog yesterday, but couldn't get the pics to upload. While I'm working on this error, I wanted to give you a taste of what is to come...

Keep Austin Wierd: Part Deux (check August 2006 for Part One)--I went to Austin for a work conference and spent some time with Josh & Amy again...good times and fun photos!

Wilbert the Conehead--my little bug woke up yesterday with a nasty nasty purple welt on his backside that was oozing stuff, which turned out to be a "ruptured oil gland cyst"...8 hours, 1 surgery, 3 stitches and a big plastic cone later, Wilbert is recovering nicely. You will NOT want to miss those photos!

Back soon...

Kari, Shayne, and the 1st time I've "gone commando"

For some of you, this post will get to be WAY more than you wanted to know. I will warn you when that part is coming so you may safely link to another site before cringing and shouting, "MY EYES! MY EYES!" like Phoebe did when she found out Monica and Chandler were dating.

But before that happens, a 2-day late shoutout to my girl Kari! Last year, I was totally on top of things and put together this fabulous tribute to K (see Feb. 24th 2006 entry, but you have to go there yourself b/c I haven't figured out how to make a link that clicks to it for you). This year, I managed to get a package on its way to France but didn't make it to the blog in time.

What you really need to know is that Kari and I met in November 2002 when we moved to Senegal within 24 hours of each other. Things to know about us:
1. Kari is the cook/I am the dishwasher.
2. Kari likes the "a face only a mother could love" orphanage babies while I am a snob and go for the truly beautiful ones.
3. Kari pulls off a nose ring and the IMB says nothing--truly a feat worthy of praise!/I date someone while missionaries constantly encourage it and then get chastised.
4. Kari gives herself pedicures in Africa where you get dirty after a shower in approximately 2.2 seconds/I had trouble making myself match clothes, b/c really, we were in Africa and who cared?
5. Kari, knowing I'm allergic to cats, decides that it's more important to save a little African stray cat she named Mere Bud (or rather just Bud); however, she slightly redeemed herself by naming the cat after me (Bud P. Marley--guess what the P stands for?)/I, in turn, do not kill Bud P. when I find him repeatedly having sneaked into MY room and sleeping soundly on my pillow.
6. Kari & I have lived in the same hemisphere for about 7 months of our 4.5 year friendship. Now that's a bond.

Much love, K! Sorry I'm late!

On to Shayne...February has been "The Month of Shayne"....Shayne is one of my HG girls. She was in the hospital for her heart murmur a few weeks ago, then got in a car accident and was injured, then has been in the process of joining our church and asked me to be the one who baptized her! So on Saturday, I had the honor of performing my first baptism. I am so blessed by this girl!

This is where you need to stop reading if you think I may give you TMI. About the baptism...Shayne forgot to tell me to bring a change of clothes so I'd have something to wear. So after our celebration dinner, Cookie & I made an emergency run to TJ Maxx for a t-shirt and shorts. Later, as we were in line to go up to the baptismal, I realized, "I only have the underwear I have on." For the love.

So my very first commando experience was...at church. Yes. Now, it's not a mouse in a robe like Marcy, but it was unpleasant for me just the same. Cookie is in trouble for being too busy trying on jeans to think of undies and Shayne is in far bigger trouble for forgetting to tell me about needing them.

Something to say...

I'd love to say that I have something to say. I have been trying to figure this paradox out. Last summer when I was new to Denton, my life was far less busy than it is now. But I blogged like it was going out of style. I found stories to tell about Wilbert, snakes and squirrels. People weren't even necessary to make a hilarious blog post. Now, Wilbert is still here but for the most part the snakes & squirrels have left the building. I have people in my life. Wonderful people. And no stories to tell. How did that happen? Maybe people aren't as colorful as snakes and squirrels...and of course, Wilbert. Well, I refuse, REFUSE, to believe that. So here's a tribute to my Denton-ites:

Sara: who answered my last straw email before I ditched the Village and headed for greener pastures (slight pun on Psalm 23); now my home group (HG) coach who meets with me for dinner every Monday at 6pm, location TBA. Sara is one of those people where whoever you are, you can be you.

Linda: waltzed into my fledgling new HG and became an instant friend; now my accountability/prayer partner, we have lunch on Sundays...it used to be at Panera and then suddenly, Linda is anti-Panera so we've been trying other things. no matter, Sunday lunch is still a highlight. Linda is one of those people where you go way DEEP in friendship.

Shayne: ha, Shayne makes me LAUGH and DANCE. Not everyone can do this. Lovely Shayne. We've had adventures...the disappearing keys that caused a major tiff w/the blasted roadside assistance people who couldn't figure out that the place we were at was across the street from the place they thought we were at. CROSS THE STREET. For the love. Shayne is one of those people who is just plain positive. Warning: you WILL have fun.

Jordan: ah, Jordan--my hairstylist/friend extraordinaire. I was nervous to let a friend cut my hair...you know, if it came out looking like Dudley Moore instead of Demi Moore (ref. Friends, Season 2), how would we remain friends? It's very tricky, you see. Fortunately, Jordan proved her mad skills and gave me a sweeping 'do that I adore. She is the perfect friend to read magazines and sip a Starbucks with at Barnes & Noble.

Cookie: it took me awhile to bring myself to call Colleen Cookie. I was waiting for that moment when I'd earned "nickname" status as her friend. Thanks to Cookie's personality, getting to that point doesn't take long. I love this girl. When I came back from Corpus once, I immediately went to dinner w/Jordan & Cookie and was ROLLING and CRYING from laughter. I knew Denton had become home, and it was b/c of the Cookie-meister (not to be confused w/Cookie Monster).

Kelsey: I met Kels the first time at B&N...there was a click. This gal holds no grudges, even when I've inadvertently placed her and her good friend squarely in danger of a psycho. Kelsey is one of those people you just instantly feel comfortable with.

Rikki Tai: or shall I say Regina Philange (ref. Friends, seasons 5, 8, 9, 10)? This is my Friends-quote friend. And she has a bottomless desire to serve other people. She is ALWAYS looking for ways to give, give, and give. However, her postal skills seem to be lacking b/c I still haven't received a package she "sent" about 3 weeks ago.

Kari: this girl is getting me in shape for my visit to Seattle next month! I am all about going granola, and she's going to get me there...Kari is laid-back and ever-cheerful, always wearing The North Face or Columbia. We're going to REI soon so I can stock up on GranolaWear (yes, I coined that).

Uyen: wow, was I ever glad to meet Uyen (after calling her "Lynn" for 2 days!)...Uyen is like me! She loves higher ed and college students, and is working on her PhD. I've been able to glean wisdom from this gal b/c "she has much knowledge" (ref. Gilmore Girls ref. some other show); Uyen is my bosom buddy, if I may use that outdated term.

Abby, Juliana and Kat have also made HG a fabulous experience--I'm going to have an addendum after we've had the chance to share some adventures!

No hanky? No problem!

Kari got me a subscription to Health magazine for Christmas (thanks, K!) which I have been enjoying thoroughly. As most of you know, I enjoy working out and running. So, I tried to go running the other day when it was, oh, about 35 degrees outside. Well, the most annoying thing happened...my nose was running much faster than I was and I had no way of containing the damage. THEN, oh but THEN, I ran into this recent "must-buy" I saw in Health magazine. The product is called Snot Spot, and it is a "superabsorbent fleece cuff that fits over your hand for quick efficient wiping. Available in 3 styles (for bare hands, gloves, and mittens), the reversible Snot Spot is machine-washable."

Thank goodness! What WILL they think of next??

The perks of living "way up north"...

SNOW DAYS!!!

No work today. :) I could get used to this!

The way we were

When I first moved to Denton in May, I began attending a home group of girls through what is now my church, The Village Church. The group swelled in size (if we'd all come on the same night, there would've been around 30 of us) and there was a wide age range (19-28), including college & young professionals, that nebulous modern term for those of us who have graduated but it still seems that society doesn't want to call us "adults."

Anyway, it was decided that the group needed to split so I approached the leader about starting one just for the post-college girls. She agreed, and in mid-October, I found myself leading a home group of about six.

Well, as most of you know, Denton is a "college town" and thus, all the home groups for single women were college. Our group exploded! By mid-December, there were 19 who had either become members or visited regularly. We needed to split again.

Bianca was eager to lead and I was eager to let her. So our Christmas party on December 18th was the last time we were all together.


The Christmas Party



Bianca, Jordan, me, Lisa

The "new" groups met last Monday and it's obvious God's hand was in the timing. There would have been 26 girls if we'd met as one group! Please pray for Bianca as she starts leading this new group.

On a totally unrelated subject, we are having our second major freeze/ice storm/maybe snow this weekend. No snow yet, but Wilbert and I did slide down the stairs yesterday going out for his walk. His long body wound around the side of the stairs...pretty funny, I've got to say.

Here's a pic of us from the last time:

Googling myself

I just googled myself. You should google yourself if you haven't. Or google a friend. Anyway, several links came up...an article Kari wrote about me, some articles I wrote when I was in West Africa, some strange directory called "Zoom" where I see 3 other Itschners (perhaps distant cousins?), The Village home groups list, and then I saw a link through my blog...it said, "I love this woman..." I thought WHAT?! So I click on it. If you scroll through it (which most readers won't, I assume), I wrote a post and put a pic of me & Grandma up with the caption "I love this woman." However, this is NOT the one sentence from my blog I was hoping Google search would pick up. Not sure what I can do about it...but in case you had decided to google me and found that particular link, I wanted to set your mind at ease. I heart men. Period.

Evil friend...

So, I have this problem. I love running outside, but I'm extremely picky about the weather conditions in which I will do so. Basically, it must be 72.6 degrees with no wind whatsoever. The problem, of course, is that there are pretty much 2.3 days per year in which my weather specifications will allow me to enjoy a good outdoor run.

Last year, it was during the summer when triple digits were the norm, that I went to Academy and bought a jump rope. Budget-friendly at $5.00, weather-friendly as an indoor activity thanks to the high ceilings in my apartment, and boredom-friendly as I could jump to a Friends or Gilmore Girls episode (or Grey's Anatomy, which was my newest poison of choice), the jump rope was my friend.

This year, I have a couple of new friends. Last Thursday, I ventured to Sport Authority (the Academy-version in Denton) where I purchased one of those little round trampolines, a Pilates DVD, and a Pilates mat. I've heard wonderful (and painful) stories about Pilates and how it "really, really works" from numerous people. Supposedly, the trampoline is a very good workout as well. These new friends are only budget-friendly for those who consider the CPU (cost per use, which makes the item relatively cheap if it's good quality), but both are weather-friendly and the tramp(oline) is boredom-friendly.

Last night, one of my new friends transformed into a violent weapon of mass destruction. I was ready for bed, so I turned off the living room light switch, which is strategically placed next to the front door and opposite my bedroom. I have the tramp(oline) set up behind my couch for easy Gilmore or Friends viewing whilst I jump. I forgot about this nifty set-up when I turned off the living room light to go to bed. In crossing my living room, my right ankle nailed the tramp(oline)--owie #1--and sent me flying forward. My right knee squarely hit the hardest metal of the tramp(oline)--owie #2. Thankfully, my instincts kicked in and my hands kept me from hitting my face on anything dangerous--owie #3. Today my left foot (how did the left foot get hurt?) is scraped and my right knee is swelling and killing me slowly.

I am deciding on the best punishment for my friend-turned-weapon. Throw the tramp(oline) in the dumpster to show it can't win and remind it that I have a Pilates DVD that loves me and would never try to kill me? Should I just jump really hard on the tramp(oline) in an attempt to beat the evil out?