A year ago today...part VI

Thursday, September 4, 2008

My alarm is going off. I stir from sleep. Why is my alarm going off if it's still dark outside? I reach for my cell to turn the alarm off...oh, it's not the alarm. I have a call. From an unrecognizable Corpus phone number.

I answer and the person says, "This is Randy, the nurse at Bay Area Hospital."

And I know this is it. Randy (yes, the nurse shares the same name as Daddy) tells me that Daddy's levels are dropping, and I might want to come down to the hospital. I look at the time. 1:45 am. Amy has woken up beside me. I ask if I need to come, if this is the end. Randy says he can't say, but that he is definitely deteriorating.

I put on my glasses and Amy sits up. I tell her what the nurse says and she begins to get dressed to go. Amy is pregnant and has been told by her doctor that she should try to remain as calm and stress free as possible. I'm thinking that taking her with me in the middle of the night to watch my father die is probably not keeping her stress free, so I tell her she doesn't have to come.

She insists on coming with me.

We drive Daddy's truck to the hospital. As we pull into the parking lot, Randy calls again. He wants to know if I have decided to come. I tell him we are in the parking lot and will be there shortly. He is clearly happy to hear this. I now know it's over.

Turns out that since ICU is closed to visitors, they close the entrance to ICU at 9:00 pm. Amy & I run around, find another entrance, and try to make sense of the hospital hallway maze. There are no signs to ICU. Finally, we find it and run into Daddy's room. It is 2:13 am.

Daddy's eyes are glazed over. I call Royce and wake him up. I tell him this is it as Daddy's levels plummet to zero. Within two minutes of my arrival, at 2:15 am, Daddy is officially pronounced dead. I'm telling Royce, "It's over. It's over. It's over." I can't think of what else to say.

Royce tells me that he & Cynthia will drive in tomorrow morning and meet me at the funeral home. They encourage me to go back to Amy's and try to sleep.

Randy tells Amy & me that he needs to unhook the machines and do some other things and asks us to leave the room. Five minutes later, we are allowed back in. Randy has closed Daddy's eyes, unhooked all the machines. He appears to be sleeping peacefully.

I crawl into bed with Daddy while Amy texts our friends. Randy tells me the coroner will arrive in about 45 minutes to take Daddy. It's only been about 7 minutes, already Daddy is cold and hard. How can life be gone just like that?

Christine arrives at the hospital. I'm still lying with Daddy, and she slips in next to Amy.

The coroner arrives and I am given a minute alone with Daddy. He's not there, and I know it, but I still hug his cold stone body and tell him it's okay that he left. Then I left.

Amy, Christine, and I decided to go to IHOP and get pancakes at 4:00 am. Poor Christine had work in the morning, so she left after IHOP. Amy & I returned to her parents' house. We rent a movie on demand. Amy fell asleep but I watch the whole thing. At 6:00 am, the news came on. The normal news. As if everything hadn't changed.

But everything had changed.