not hungry

It finally happened. Peggy's not hungry.

In 2004, I went on a bit of an anorexic streak. But for the last 5 years, I have been a solid eater. So solid that I eat when I'm not hungry. One of those boredom eaters. Also, a midnight snacker. It's not a binge thing. I eat a 90 calorie granola bar in the middle of the night. Or maybe a string cheese. But for some reason, when I get up to pee, I feel a compulsive urge to go grab a little somethin-somethin.

Then came Monday. On Monday, I ate a Hawaiian bagel w/cream cheese for breakfast. Then a chicken teriyaki bowl for lunch. Pretty normal. THEN.

A massive headache hit around 3pm, but I forced myself to go to class. At about 6:30, I thought I was going to pass out. Or puke. Or both. 20 minutes later, class ended and I drove home.

Rewind: a typical evening food-wise for me is to eat dinner. Then eat a snack. Then eat dessert. Then another little snack. Then bed. Then the midnight snack. (You can see how I gained back 20 pounds since 2004). Mind you, they were usually the light options I mentioned earlier...but lots of low cal stuff still adds up to high cal.

I felt incomplete if I didn't eat my little ritual. It would bug me and bug me until I grabbed that snack.

Back to the present: so on Monday I arrive home and despite the nausea and headache, start my ritual. I microwaved a Lean Cuisine frozen pizza. I ate about half of it over 2.5 hours. Then threw it away. Then went to bed.

Now it's Thursday. For 3 days, I have eaten like a bird. Peggy doesn't eat like a bird. Peggy eats like an hombre.

I feel fine. No more headache, no more nausea since Monday night. But also, no appetite.

I stepped on the scale today. 3.5 pounds down in a week.

I'm sure I will talk to my therapist about this on Tuesday.

Oh yeah, I see a therapist.