A year ago today...part II

Sunday, August 31, 2008

At 4:15 am, we went to Seatac to catch our 6:00 am flight to Corpus Christi. I had not received a phone call from Royce, so I assumed Daddy was still alive. We made it through security, and decided to buy breakfast at the Starbucks in the lobby. As we sat down, I got a call from a Corpus phone number. Not wanting to talk to anyone, but knowing it could be important, I answered. It was one of the pastors of First Baptist Church, who had heard about Daddy. I had no idea how.

We boarded the plane to Dallas, Jesse in the aisle seat and me in the middle. I put my head in his lap and tried to tune everything else out.

We landed in Dallas. Still no call from Royce, so I called him. Daddy was "hanging in there," and not in much pain, thanks to a lot of morphine. I began to think he would still be alive by the time we made it home. I talked to Gayle, Daddy's favorite aunt. We stopped at a restaurant and ordered barbecue to eat. Jesse ate his food, while I picked at my plate.

Finally, it was time to board our flight to Corpus. An hour later, Royce & Cynthia picked us up at the airport. While waiting at baggage claim, Jesse kept an eye on the luggage while I kept an eye on the door. Cynthia came running into the airport, hugged me, and said she was so sorry this was happening.

We piled into the truck, and Royce said, "Hi, Frank." I'm not sure why, but he thought I was dating someone named Frank.

We raced straight to the hospital. I mentioned needing to rent a car, and Royce reminded me that I could drive my father's truck. I thought how funny it was that my father would absolutely flip his lid if he knew I was driving his precious truck. He hardly let me ride in the passenger seat.

When we arrived at the hospital, I ran into Daddy's room, the first one on the left coming into the ICU. He grinned and threw his arms in the air while I leaped into the bed, careful not to undo any of the machines he was hooked up to. I couldn't believe how aware he was. He knew exactly who I was, and I had been told he wasn't aware of anything at this point. Royce told me that his nurse took him off the morphine for just awhile so he would be able to say goodbye to me when I arrived.

I realized that other people were there in the room at that point. They all left, so Daddy and I could be alone.

I cried and hugged him. I said I love you over and over again. He said he loved me too. I said I was sorry. He just looked at me. He asked me what he did wrong, why things were always so hard for him. I said I didn't know. See, my father had polio when he was a baby. His left side remained forever impaired by the polio. Some scar tissue remained on his brain also, which gave him a lot of challenges in his life. Then he developed epilepsy, and for a long time, had unpredictable seizure episodes. Life wasn't easy for Daddy.

I told him that if he needed to go that I would be okay. I didn't actually believe that, but I said it to him anyway.

Eventually, the ICU staff kicked us all out so they could do whatever it is that they do. Royce & Cynthia treated Jesse & me to dinner. My cousin, Kate, and her boyfriend joined us, as well as Amy. We all gathered for Mexican food, and it was strange to think that while we were eating dinner, my father was a mile away in a hospital bed dying. We even laughed a little. I felt guilty.

Royce & Cynthia dropped us off at Daddy's apartment for the night and told us they would see us at the hospital in the morning.

To be continued...