Sunday, August 31, 2008
At 4:15 am, we went to Seatac to catch our 6:00 am flight to Corpus Christi. I had not received a phone call from Royce, so I assumed Daddy was still alive. We made it through security, and decided to buy breakfast at the Starbucks in the lobby. As we sat down, I got a call from a Corpus phone number. Not wanting to talk to anyone, but knowing it could be important, I answered. It was one of the pastors of First Baptist Church, who had heard about Daddy. I had no idea how.
We boarded the plane to Dallas, Jesse in the aisle seat and me in the middle. I put my head in his lap and tried to tune everything else out.
We landed in Dallas. Still no call from Royce, so I called him. Daddy was "hanging in there," and not in much pain, thanks to a lot of morphine. I began to think he would still be alive by the time we made it home. I talked to Gayle, Daddy's favorite aunt. We stopped at a restaurant and ordered barbecue to eat. Jesse ate his food, while I picked at my plate.
Finally, it was time to board our flight to Corpus. An hour later, Royce & Cynthia picked us up at the airport. While waiting at baggage claim, Jesse kept an eye on the luggage while I kept an eye on the door. Cynthia came running into the airport, hugged me, and said she was so sorry this was happening.
We piled into the truck, and Royce said, "Hi, Frank." I'm not sure why, but he thought I was dating someone named Frank.
We raced straight to the hospital. I mentioned needing to rent a car, and Royce reminded me that I could drive my father's truck. I thought how funny it was that my father would absolutely flip his lid if he knew I was driving his precious truck. He hardly let me ride in the passenger seat.
When we arrived at the hospital, I ran into Daddy's room, the first one on the left coming into the ICU. He grinned and threw his arms in the air while I leaped into the bed, careful not to undo any of the machines he was hooked up to. I couldn't believe how aware he was. He knew exactly who I was, and I had been told he wasn't aware of anything at this point. Royce told me that his nurse took him off the morphine for just awhile so he would be able to say goodbye to me when I arrived.
I realized that other people were there in the room at that point. They all left, so Daddy and I could be alone.
I cried and hugged him. I said I love you over and over again. He said he loved me too. I said I was sorry. He just looked at me. He asked me what he did wrong, why things were always so hard for him. I said I didn't know. See, my father had polio when he was a baby. His left side remained forever impaired by the polio. Some scar tissue remained on his brain also, which gave him a lot of challenges in his life. Then he developed epilepsy, and for a long time, had unpredictable seizure episodes. Life wasn't easy for Daddy.
I told him that if he needed to go that I would be okay. I didn't actually believe that, but I said it to him anyway.
Eventually, the ICU staff kicked us all out so they could do whatever it is that they do. Royce & Cynthia treated Jesse & me to dinner. My cousin, Kate, and her boyfriend joined us, as well as Amy. We all gathered for Mexican food, and it was strange to think that while we were eating dinner, my father was a mile away in a hospital bed dying. We even laughed a little. I felt guilty.
Royce & Cynthia dropped us off at Daddy's apartment for the night and told us they would see us at the hospital in the morning.
To be continued...
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
A year ago today...
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Jesse & I went to breakfast at one of my favorite places, Alki Bakery. At this time of year, Seattle is lovely. After having delicious breakfast croissants and sharing a cinnamon roll, Jesse & I decided to stroll along Alki Beach. It was very crowded that day, as it tends to be when the sun is out in Seattle. The mood was light and people were cheery.
We returned to my apartment, and I decided to go for a run while Jesse stayed back to study. I ran for nearly an hour, from my apartment in Fremont along Lake Union and almost to downtown. I remember looking out over the lake and marveling at how perfect things seemed to be. Finally, after a grueling job search, I had landed a position at the Art Institute of Seattle. Finally, after nine months of cold, rainy weather, the sun was out. Finally, things were looking up.
I returned to my apartment at about 3:00 pm. Jesse told me that my uncle Royce had called three times. He'd nearly picked it up the last time, but Royce finally left a voicemail. I listened to the voicemail and knew something was wrong. My father had had surgery to remove a large polyp on August 19th, and had not been recovering normally. He had gone into surgery again today so the doctor could see what the issue might be. I had told my boss the day before that it was all routine and everything should be fine, but there was a chance I might have to go to Texas.
I pulled off my running shoes, sat down in the middle of the living room floor, and called Royce. He said he had to tell me something about Daddy, and it wasn't good news. The words started running together and not making sense...
"Took him into surgery....found a large, inflammed mass...entangled in several veins and can't be removed...poisoning...septic shock...hours to live."
I began sobbing. "NO! NO! NO!" into the phone, willing Royce to stop saying such awful things. Willing him to stop saying what could NOT be happening. It was a polyp, a lousy polyp. It was a routine surgery. Everyone else recovers. He hadn't wanted the stupid surgery in the first place. He knew something would go wrong. I told him everything would be fine. I told him he was worrying about nothing.
How was I supposed to get to Texas within HOURS?
Jesse had run into the living room by this time and was holding me, trying to figure out what was going on, what Royce could possibly be telling me.
My roommate of 3 weeks walked into the apartment. I looked at her and continued sobbing. She went to her room.
Royce kept talking..."can come to Texas...we can help you get here...you do whatever you feel is right to do..." I said, "I'm coming. I will get on the next flight I can."
After hanging up the phone, I told Jesse I had to figure out how I was going to get to Texas. He said how "we" were getting to Texas. I looked at him, this boyfriend of 4 months, and said, "Okay, how are we getting to Texas?"
We went to the airport and found a nice woman with American Airlines who gave us a great bereavement fare. The plane left the next morning and got us into Corpus Christi at 4:00 p.m. Nearly 24 hours from when Royce told me my father had hours to live. We booked the flight and went back home.
We had been planning for over a month to see my new favorite movie, Juno, at the Fremont Outdoor Theater that night. Since we couldn't leave until the morning, and I knew I wanted to stay busy until then, we decided to keep our plans and go to the movie.
The evenings in Seattle get quite chilly, even in August. After 45 minutes, I told Jesse that I was cold so we left.
We went back to his house, and tried to go to sleep, knowing we had to wake up at 3:45 am to catch our flight.
To be continued...
Jesse & I went to breakfast at one of my favorite places, Alki Bakery. At this time of year, Seattle is lovely. After having delicious breakfast croissants and sharing a cinnamon roll, Jesse & I decided to stroll along Alki Beach. It was very crowded that day, as it tends to be when the sun is out in Seattle. The mood was light and people were cheery.
We returned to my apartment, and I decided to go for a run while Jesse stayed back to study. I ran for nearly an hour, from my apartment in Fremont along Lake Union and almost to downtown. I remember looking out over the lake and marveling at how perfect things seemed to be. Finally, after a grueling job search, I had landed a position at the Art Institute of Seattle. Finally, after nine months of cold, rainy weather, the sun was out. Finally, things were looking up.
I returned to my apartment at about 3:00 pm. Jesse told me that my uncle Royce had called three times. He'd nearly picked it up the last time, but Royce finally left a voicemail. I listened to the voicemail and knew something was wrong. My father had had surgery to remove a large polyp on August 19th, and had not been recovering normally. He had gone into surgery again today so the doctor could see what the issue might be. I had told my boss the day before that it was all routine and everything should be fine, but there was a chance I might have to go to Texas.
I pulled off my running shoes, sat down in the middle of the living room floor, and called Royce. He said he had to tell me something about Daddy, and it wasn't good news. The words started running together and not making sense...
"Took him into surgery....found a large, inflammed mass...entangled in several veins and can't be removed...poisoning...septic shock...hours to live."
I began sobbing. "NO! NO! NO!" into the phone, willing Royce to stop saying such awful things. Willing him to stop saying what could NOT be happening. It was a polyp, a lousy polyp. It was a routine surgery. Everyone else recovers. He hadn't wanted the stupid surgery in the first place. He knew something would go wrong. I told him everything would be fine. I told him he was worrying about nothing.
How was I supposed to get to Texas within HOURS?
Jesse had run into the living room by this time and was holding me, trying to figure out what was going on, what Royce could possibly be telling me.
My roommate of 3 weeks walked into the apartment. I looked at her and continued sobbing. She went to her room.
Royce kept talking..."can come to Texas...we can help you get here...you do whatever you feel is right to do..." I said, "I'm coming. I will get on the next flight I can."
After hanging up the phone, I told Jesse I had to figure out how I was going to get to Texas. He said how "we" were getting to Texas. I looked at him, this boyfriend of 4 months, and said, "Okay, how are we getting to Texas?"
We went to the airport and found a nice woman with American Airlines who gave us a great bereavement fare. The plane left the next morning and got us into Corpus Christi at 4:00 p.m. Nearly 24 hours from when Royce told me my father had hours to live. We booked the flight and went back home.
We had been planning for over a month to see my new favorite movie, Juno, at the Fremont Outdoor Theater that night. Since we couldn't leave until the morning, and I knew I wanted to stay busy until then, we decided to keep our plans and go to the movie.
The evenings in Seattle get quite chilly, even in August. After 45 minutes, I told Jesse that I was cold so we left.
We went back to his house, and tried to go to sleep, knowing we had to wake up at 3:45 am to catch our flight.
To be continued...
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Judging books by their covers
My most recent completed read was Admission by Jean Hanff Korelitz. It was recommended to me by my mostly-cyber-but-also-a-little-in-person friend, Jessica. It was the most beautiful blend of novel and higher education that Jessica knew would be the perfect fit for me.
But I have to admit it. It was the book jacket that got me. I love book jackets. They are colorful and shiny and have lovely emblems or pictures. A book is only as good as its' jacket's graphic designer. In my humble opinion. The jacket of Admission is a fabulous pale yellow with a large A in a fantastic font. The piece de resistance is the ivy (get it? Ivy League...) wrapped cleverly around the A.
Two weeks ago, I dogsat Bella & Tony while Uyen was out of town. Uyen had warned me that Bella loves to eat paper, so when I first began dogsitting her, I made sure I left no paper or books in her reach. One day, I forgot but when I arrived home after work, it did not appear that Bella had consumed any paper products, so I decided it was safe to leave my books on the bottom shelf and other low-lying places.
I was dogsitting Bella & Tony while reading Admission. I had been deeply entrenched in the world of Portia Nathan and the Princeton University admission process when it finally happened. I came home after work to find the jacket of Admission torn to pieces. While the actual book was perfectly salvaged and readable, Admission lost its luster. To me, it was now just a brown book.
Oh, I still read it. I still wanted to know what happened to Portia. But it wasn't the same. The reading experience lost much of its pleasure...all because my beautiful ivy-covered A was no longer there.
To see the cover for yourself, go here.
I have decided to save a little money by checking books out of the library rather than buying them. Right now, I am reading Joe College by Tom Perrotta. I'm experiencing quite a bit of disequlibrium between the exhilaration of reading new books for free, yet not knowing what the covers look like. See, when you check hard-cover books out of the library (pardon me if I am insulting your intelligence by explaining this), they have removed the book jacket. Not only am I missing the aesthetically pleasing book jacket, but I found it nearly impossible to enjoy perusing the aisles of books without the benefit of the synopsis normally provided in the book jacket. I had to rely on the appealing title to guide me.
I didn't get far into Joe College before my concentration broke and I had to know. What does the book jacket look like? Go here if you are just as curious.
Hi, my name is Peggy. And I judge books by their covers.
But I have to admit it. It was the book jacket that got me. I love book jackets. They are colorful and shiny and have lovely emblems or pictures. A book is only as good as its' jacket's graphic designer. In my humble opinion. The jacket of Admission is a fabulous pale yellow with a large A in a fantastic font. The piece de resistance is the ivy (get it? Ivy League...) wrapped cleverly around the A.
Two weeks ago, I dogsat Bella & Tony while Uyen was out of town. Uyen had warned me that Bella loves to eat paper, so when I first began dogsitting her, I made sure I left no paper or books in her reach. One day, I forgot but when I arrived home after work, it did not appear that Bella had consumed any paper products, so I decided it was safe to leave my books on the bottom shelf and other low-lying places.
I was dogsitting Bella & Tony while reading Admission. I had been deeply entrenched in the world of Portia Nathan and the Princeton University admission process when it finally happened. I came home after work to find the jacket of Admission torn to pieces. While the actual book was perfectly salvaged and readable, Admission lost its luster. To me, it was now just a brown book.
Oh, I still read it. I still wanted to know what happened to Portia. But it wasn't the same. The reading experience lost much of its pleasure...all because my beautiful ivy-covered A was no longer there.
To see the cover for yourself, go here.
I have decided to save a little money by checking books out of the library rather than buying them. Right now, I am reading Joe College by Tom Perrotta. I'm experiencing quite a bit of disequlibrium between the exhilaration of reading new books for free, yet not knowing what the covers look like. See, when you check hard-cover books out of the library (pardon me if I am insulting your intelligence by explaining this), they have removed the book jacket. Not only am I missing the aesthetically pleasing book jacket, but I found it nearly impossible to enjoy perusing the aisles of books without the benefit of the synopsis normally provided in the book jacket. I had to rely on the appealing title to guide me.
I didn't get far into Joe College before my concentration broke and I had to know. What does the book jacket look like? Go here if you are just as curious.
Hi, my name is Peggy. And I judge books by their covers.
Friday, August 21, 2009
So...tired...must....rest...now.
Orientation was Tuesday. 12.5 hour work day. Nearly got stuck in the elevator with student worker (who thought us being stuck was hilarious).
Registration was Thursday. 10 hour work day. 3,258 pissed off students unable to get into some class or another.
Water main break was Friday. 8 hour work day, but had to go potty at the next building over. Did not get the email with this information until after I had gone potty in our building. Thought co-worker & friend, Icy, who was in there just ahead of me, was DISGUSTING for not washing her hands. Before I knew there was no water. Then realized I could still be friends with her.
We have decided we will never, EVER, do orientation during the week registration opens. Ever. Ever.
Just when I think some of my friends, who shall remain nameless, have quit blogging for all eternity, they return with a witty vengeance. Glad to see you back, Paula & Maggie. Others, who shall remain nameless, have yet to return and just might get kicked off my "Blogs I love and you should too list" (to your right). Are you coming back, Nicole & Abby? There are others, who shall remain nameless, who so regularly update only 3 times a year that I keep them on the blog roll, knowing that one of these 90 days, there will be an update. Kate.
It's shaping up to be a splendid weekend. MelSat is on her way to Denton as I type. MelSat, one of the funniest people ever to grace Earth, will no doubt have stories of meth mommies and other dysfunctional folks to tell...because when you're a social worker in Tulsa, Oklahoma, what else is there to talk about? We will meet up with Amy tomorrow because she is in town visiting the in-laws. The plan is to have lunch and then go ice skating. Ice skating. Have I mentioned that Amy (LOVE HER) is one of the clumsiest people ever? Surely, ice skating will be a treat. Funniest Person Ever and Clumsiest Person Ever on ice skates. Bring it.
As if that wasn't enough, the co-workers and I are hitting up the Movie Tavern in Denton to see The Time Traveler's Wife tomorrow night. We've already read the book, which had me boo-hooing so I'm certain there will be nothing left of me when I walk out. So, we've decided to go get drinks after the movie to soothe ourselves.
Sunday, I will sleep.
Registration was Thursday. 10 hour work day. 3,258 pissed off students unable to get into some class or another.
Water main break was Friday. 8 hour work day, but had to go potty at the next building over. Did not get the email with this information until after I had gone potty in our building. Thought co-worker & friend, Icy, who was in there just ahead of me, was DISGUSTING for not washing her hands. Before I knew there was no water. Then realized I could still be friends with her.
We have decided we will never, EVER, do orientation during the week registration opens. Ever. Ever.
Just when I think some of my friends, who shall remain nameless, have quit blogging for all eternity, they return with a witty vengeance. Glad to see you back, Paula & Maggie. Others, who shall remain nameless, have yet to return and just might get kicked off my "Blogs I love and you should too list" (to your right). Are you coming back, Nicole & Abby? There are others, who shall remain nameless, who so regularly update only 3 times a year that I keep them on the blog roll, knowing that one of these 90 days, there will be an update. Kate.
It's shaping up to be a splendid weekend. MelSat is on her way to Denton as I type. MelSat, one of the funniest people ever to grace Earth, will no doubt have stories of meth mommies and other dysfunctional folks to tell...because when you're a social worker in Tulsa, Oklahoma, what else is there to talk about? We will meet up with Amy tomorrow because she is in town visiting the in-laws. The plan is to have lunch and then go ice skating. Ice skating. Have I mentioned that Amy (LOVE HER) is one of the clumsiest people ever? Surely, ice skating will be a treat. Funniest Person Ever and Clumsiest Person Ever on ice skates. Bring it.
As if that wasn't enough, the co-workers and I are hitting up the Movie Tavern in Denton to see The Time Traveler's Wife tomorrow night. We've already read the book, which had me boo-hooing so I'm certain there will be nothing left of me when I walk out. So, we've decided to go get drinks after the movie to soothe ourselves.
Sunday, I will sleep.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Weekend Update
I've lived in Denton since April 11...4 months today, hard to believe. In some ways, it's gone by quickly but in other ways very slowly. I will say that each month goes more quickly and I've gotten more adjusted. In my 4 months here, this past weekend was my 4th to stay in Denton (including Jesse's visit). I've been doing lots of traveling, needless to say. But it was pretty nice to settle in with a couple of movie rentals on Friday afternoon/evening instead of making poor Louise take me across the state somewhere.
Watch "New in Town" and "Bart Got a Room"--check
Work out to The Biggest Loser Cardio Max video--check
Lay out by the pool--check
Work out to The Ultimate Tae-Bo Workout--check (and near-death experience)--check
Sleep in until 10:30 am (Saturday) and 11:45 am (Sunday)--check
Read at Barnes & Noble with an iced chai latte & Asiago cheese pretzel--check
Find a fabulous steal-of-a-deal on silver sandals at Urban Outfitters--check
Enjoy a delicious Mexican meal at Gloria's with new friend Amber--check
Laughed til I cried at Improv Comedy, thanks to Last Comic Standing's Lavell Crawford and his amazing opening act--check
Adopted Bella & Tony for the week--check
Grocery shopping--check
Not too shabby for a weekend in Denton.
Watch "New in Town" and "Bart Got a Room"--check
Work out to The Biggest Loser Cardio Max video--check
Lay out by the pool--check
Work out to The Ultimate Tae-Bo Workout--check (and near-death experience)--check
Sleep in until 10:30 am (Saturday) and 11:45 am (Sunday)--check
Read at Barnes & Noble with an iced chai latte & Asiago cheese pretzel--check
Find a fabulous steal-of-a-deal on silver sandals at Urban Outfitters--check
Enjoy a delicious Mexican meal at Gloria's with new friend Amber--check
Laughed til I cried at Improv Comedy, thanks to Last Comic Standing's Lavell Crawford and his amazing opening act--check
Adopted Bella & Tony for the week--check
Grocery shopping--check
Not too shabby for a weekend in Denton.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
The Story of the Good Advisor
*Note: This is a true story, based on actual people and events. Names have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved.
Once upon a time, there was a young girl named Amanda*. She was 18 years old, and her parents had just announced their divorce to her and her younger brother. Amanda moved with her mother and brother to the Midwest, thousands of miles from the New England home where she had lived her entire life.
Amanda decided to attend college at the state university in town. However, she lacked direction or a clear plan for her life and did poorly in classes. After two years of wandering, she decided that college was not for her, and she left.
Working at a GAP in the city, her academic advisor visited every three months without fail. Ms. Advisor left her business card and an encouraging remark for Amanda, reminding her that if she decided to return to college, Ms. Advisor would help her every step of the way.
After two years of these visits, Amanda walked out of the GAP and back into the gates of State U. She marched into Ms. Advisor's office without an appointment or any forewarning, sobbing over her feelings of lostness and failure.
Ms. Advisor picked up Amanda's mantle, connecting her to a full-ride scholarship and sources of support for students like Amanda. With these connections and Ms. Advisor's constant guidance, Amanda graduated from State U in two years with honors.
Amanda now has a Master's degree in higher education and advocates for students like herself in her position as a coordinator of Student Activities at Big Texas U. She hopes to earn a Ph.D. after gaining more work experience. Amanda concluded her story by saying, "Ms. Advisor changed my life. I wouldn't be where I am today without her."
And that is what I can only hope a student will say about me someday.
Once upon a time, there was a young girl named Amanda*. She was 18 years old, and her parents had just announced their divorce to her and her younger brother. Amanda moved with her mother and brother to the Midwest, thousands of miles from the New England home where she had lived her entire life.
Amanda decided to attend college at the state university in town. However, she lacked direction or a clear plan for her life and did poorly in classes. After two years of wandering, she decided that college was not for her, and she left.
Working at a GAP in the city, her academic advisor visited every three months without fail. Ms. Advisor left her business card and an encouraging remark for Amanda, reminding her that if she decided to return to college, Ms. Advisor would help her every step of the way.
After two years of these visits, Amanda walked out of the GAP and back into the gates of State U. She marched into Ms. Advisor's office without an appointment or any forewarning, sobbing over her feelings of lostness and failure.
Ms. Advisor picked up Amanda's mantle, connecting her to a full-ride scholarship and sources of support for students like Amanda. With these connections and Ms. Advisor's constant guidance, Amanda graduated from State U in two years with honors.
Amanda now has a Master's degree in higher education and advocates for students like herself in her position as a coordinator of Student Activities at Big Texas U. She hopes to earn a Ph.D. after gaining more work experience. Amanda concluded her story by saying, "Ms. Advisor changed my life. I wouldn't be where I am today without her."
And that is what I can only hope a student will say about me someday.
Monday, August 03, 2009
What I've been up to...
5 years of growing my hair out...gone in an hour!
Weekend at the Brownwood Sleep-N-Eat with Gayle & LynnRoyce & Cynthia joined in!
Dogsitting beautiful Bella
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