Dream Wedding Entrance

I heard about this on the radio the other day and was dying of curiosity...so glad I found it on You Tube! Wouldn't I love to see my best friends doing this??

Another sad goodbye...

In 2002-2003, I lived in Senegal, West Africa. I moved to Senegal on short notice because I was kicked out of Cote d'Ivoire where I'd been living and working for the past year due to a civil war breaking out in the country.

Upon moving to Senegal, I moved in with a girl who really liked to hug people. Kate & I lived in a truly West African apartment. We were the only white people on our street. One day, our West African plumbing went to crap (no pun intended...seriously, I didn't see it coming until I read it) and water flooded our poor downstairs neighbors, the Niang family.

17 year old Amadou helped us control the flooded apartment building, and quickly became a close friend, as did the rest of the Niang family. I told many stories of this family to my own friends & family back in the States and tried to convey the close friendship Kate & I had developed with the mother, Ndeye (pronounced "day"), and her 4 sons, Amadou (17), Pappi (15), Souleymane (10), and little Cire (5). The first (and only) daughter, Yacine, was born just before I had to return to the States.

We hung out with them constantly, and benefited from the fabulous cooking skills of Ndeye's househelpers. We played with the kids and grew to love each of them in a special way. Just as in America, Souleymane (or Souley, as his mother called him) seemed to almost disappear from attention as the middle child. He had a shyness about him that made you just want to shower affection on him.

In 2005, we recieved news that the father of this family passed away. Kate, Kari, Marcy, and I all hurt for this family that experienced such a great loss. Today, Kate let us know that little Souleymane passed away in an accident last week. I don't know any details, but my heart immediately felt a deep hurt over losing him. Though I haven't seen or talked to him since my visit in 2005, the Niang family, and Souleymane, are often in my thoughts. This is a very special family. Please consider praying for them when you read this blog.

Souley, Yacine, and Cire (I believe this was around 2004)

Today

I have some thoughts. They aren't very profound, neverthless, here they are.

For those who didn't see it on my facebook status, I saw a sign the other day near my place for "Mable Peabody's Beauty Parlor & Chainsaw Repair...night club." What. I was dumbfounded, so befuddled by this mysterious place that I missed the light turning and was honked at by a rather disgruntled gentleman in a truck made circa 1975. "Well, excuse me sir...but do you not see the stranger than strange place claiming to be a business?" A friend of mine has since confirmed that it is a gay/lesbian bar. I still don't get it.

Jillian is down to two eligible gentleman on The Bachelorette. I was all for Ed, who bares a striking resemblance to Denny from Grey's Anatomy, until he wore an atrocious pair of swim trunks and awful suit that were from the same year as the truck in my first anecdote. (Yes, I choose my men based solely on what they wear.) However, Kiptyn is just...too perfect. Something must be wrong. Jillian's decision-making has been quite wackadoodle all season (I know, the pot calling the kettle black) so I'm a little worried about the poor girl, but hopefully all will be right in this not-reality world.

I am bored at work. I haven't been bored at work in a long time. In fact, I have been feeling like I am on a treadmill, running and getting nowhere, most days because we have been that busy. The last memorable time I was really, really bored at work was Labor Day 2006. I joined eHarmony because I had too much time on my hands, filled out their 1000-question profile, and then was annoyed to find that my first match was smokin' HOT and I could only talk to him if I joined. I am now trying to blog my boredom away because I obviously shouldn't join eHarmony again...Jesse probably would have a problem with that.

Speaking of the devil...ahem, I mean, speaking of my fantastic boyfriend, I bought a ticket today for a Labor Day holiday weekend in Seattle. Yay! Only 45 days til I see my Jesse...but who's counting?

And finally, after searching and searching (okay, I looked once) for a bike, my co-worker gave me her twice-used mountain bike for free! Immediately, I took the bike to a local shop where they aired my tires, adjusted the seat, and helped me strap a bike rack onto my car. On the way out, after owning my bike for less than an hour and having yet to even ride it, I nearly broke my toe on the bike rack leaving the store. There was cussing and gnashing of teeth for about 3 minutes. Since then, I have enjoyed watching my toe take on the colors of the rainbow.

Can't get enough of...

Miss Emma Byrd!

Auntie Pegs went to visit Amy & Emma (and Josh) this weekend...the last time I saw Emma, she was about 6 weeks old...now she is just shy of 4 months! So there's been a lot of growing and I got some great pics on my new digital camera!

Behold, the beauty that is Emma:

Mama (Amy) Byrd, Emma, and Me (with the diaper bag)

Josh stayed home with Emma & Maggie (the pooch) while Amy and I went to a movie (The Proposal, for inquiring minds who want to know)...what a good daddy!

Look at those squeezable cheeks!

And that adorable smile!

Emma & Auntie Pegs hanging out

Inside...

Inside, I feel sad.

Inside, I grieve deeply. Everyday.

Inside, I can't believe they are all dead.

How did I get here? I am only 31. I haven't gotten married or had kids. And now, now I have...

No Mama.
No Daddy.
No Aama.
No Russell & Louise.

I miss my mama. My warrior. The one who loved me when I lied to her face (it was only a white lie, but that seemed to matter little.) The one who came to my kickball games dressed in our team's colors and yelled louder than any other parent. The one who supported me by herself (and some child support) through five years of divorce. The one who called me Peaches & Pumpkin Cream Pie (don't ask, I have no idea to this day).

I miss my daddy. The one who took off work and got on an airplane, two things he hadn't done in 20 years, to see me graduate with a master's degree. The one who could never say or do anything unkind to anyone. The one who loved to joke and tease and always have fun. The one who snored louder and tooted stinkier than anyone I've ever known.

I miss my beloved grandmother who was my best friend. For those of you who may not know, she is the one in the picture with me at the top of this blog. The one I called Aama, which means "Mama" in Nepalese, though I had no idea when I began calling her that. The one I talked to everyday. The one who always picked up the phone, no matter what time it was. The one who never, ever got tired of listening to my stories. The one who stood at her driveway and waved until my car was out of sight. The one who was my rock, my pillar. The one for whom there are no words to describe all of the ways she was "the one who."

I miss my grandfather who I was terrified of for a good part of my life, but I later understood loved me so much. The one who helped pay for my college to make sure I had a good education. The one who laughed when the juice from my corn on the cob splattered on his right spectacle despite the utter impropriety of it.

I miss my other grandmother who helped to raise me during the years of divorce. The one who took it upon herself to teach me what it means to have self-respect and dignity. The one who painstakingly tried to teach a pre-teen good manners and how to be a proper lady. The one who is responsible for the best breakfast meal ever, Golden Rod Eggs.

Within the past 10 months, 3 of them died. I was at the bedside of one, my father, as he took his last breath and left this world. Within the past 2.5 years, 4 of them died. At the age of 19, this daughter lost her mother. I often wonder, what will become of me? My heritage is all gone. I don't even have a brother or sister to share this load of grief with. How will I get married and have kids without them? Worse, what if I don't get married and have kids, and this was the last of the family I will have?

Everyday, I miss these five pillars. Everyday, I wonder how I will continue without them. I miss their voices. I miss their wisdom. I miss their touches. I miss their unconditional, always & forever love.

Inside, I miss them.

Slightly spur of the moment...

I decided to crash my aunt Cynthia and uncle Royce's house in Kerrville for the 4th of July! My cousins Beau & Kate were also going to be in town, so the decision to go was an easy one. A quick one hour flight to San Antonio got me to fun and family for the weekend. I didn't take a single picture...but I did steal Ann's (my cousin Beau's girlfriend) pictures so you may thank her that you can see the "Weekend In Pictures."

Uncle Royce & Aunt Cynthia--aren't they fun?

Beau & Ann

Me & Kate

Kate, Aunt Cynthia, Me

Kate, Ann, Me

Beau, Ann, Kate, Me, Paul (Beau & Kate's cousin on the other side)

Beau's dogs, Gauge & Wes-super stoked about our trip to the river

Wes & Gauge, enjoy the ride
Gauge's massive lips would flap out with the wind--hysterical

Pretty river

Play time!

This is how I feel when I try to get out of the pool too.

Happy, wet Gauge

Fun times at the river
(Note: Beau is throwing a ball that the dogs are fetching...all the dogs except Gauge--in the back left. He was the loner off fishing by himself whilst the rest of the pups fetched like pros.)

Beau, Kate, and the seriously illegal 4th of July rocket

Beau and the seriously legal (albeit boring in comparison) sparklers