missing Africa

I just looked through Kari's Senegal blogs, and started to feel blue. Especially when I saw pictures of dear friends that I haven't seen in 6.5 years.

It's strange how I've spent only 1/16th of my life in Africa, but it feels like a second home. My heart actually aches sometimes to be back there. To smell the funk, to eat the yassa, to laugh with my African friends when I hardly understand what's being said, to hold my orphan babies. And to worry that they think I've forgotten them. Don't they realize that Africa gets inside and stays, that it will not let you forget (even if you wanted to, which I don't).

I saw the documentary Babies last weekend and HIGHLY recommend it. I have been wanting to see it because it has two things I adore: babies and cultures. In case you don't know the film documents the lives of four babies from birth to first steps. The babies are from Namibia (my first adventure to Africa in 2000), Mongolia, Japan (where I'm dying to go), and San Francisco.

I watched it by myself and laughed, cried, you name it. Then, I watched it again with Jesse because I needed him to have just a glimpse of the Africa that is such an important part of my life.

not hungry

It finally happened. Peggy's not hungry.

In 2004, I went on a bit of an anorexic streak. But for the last 5 years, I have been a solid eater. So solid that I eat when I'm not hungry. One of those boredom eaters. Also, a midnight snacker. It's not a binge thing. I eat a 90 calorie granola bar in the middle of the night. Or maybe a string cheese. But for some reason, when I get up to pee, I feel a compulsive urge to go grab a little somethin-somethin.

Then came Monday. On Monday, I ate a Hawaiian bagel w/cream cheese for breakfast. Then a chicken teriyaki bowl for lunch. Pretty normal. THEN.

A massive headache hit around 3pm, but I forced myself to go to class. At about 6:30, I thought I was going to pass out. Or puke. Or both. 20 minutes later, class ended and I drove home.

Rewind: a typical evening food-wise for me is to eat dinner. Then eat a snack. Then eat dessert. Then another little snack. Then bed. Then the midnight snack. (You can see how I gained back 20 pounds since 2004). Mind you, they were usually the light options I mentioned earlier...but lots of low cal stuff still adds up to high cal.

I felt incomplete if I didn't eat my little ritual. It would bug me and bug me until I grabbed that snack.

Back to the present: so on Monday I arrive home and despite the nausea and headache, start my ritual. I microwaved a Lean Cuisine frozen pizza. I ate about half of it over 2.5 hours. Then threw it away. Then went to bed.

Now it's Thursday. For 3 days, I have eaten like a bird. Peggy doesn't eat like a bird. Peggy eats like an hombre.

I feel fine. No more headache, no more nausea since Monday night. But also, no appetite.

I stepped on the scale today. 3.5 pounds down in a week.

I'm sure I will talk to my therapist about this on Tuesday.

Oh yeah, I see a therapist.

dare i say it? sanity may have returned.

i say "may have" because i am in no position to jinx myself when it comes to my sanity.

since 2006, i have had WAY too many jobs. i have moved WAY too many times. i have had WAY too many deaths in the family. the only thing stable, really, has been my instability.

now here it is. 2010. i have a job that i like. i'm kickin' ass in school. my roommate is a super cool party person and i love our crib.

BUT...i am considering a change.

don't worry. it's not the change you are probably thinking. this change would not require some fine-tuning on the resume. nor would it involve filling out another change of address form with the US Post Office.

__________________________

i had a conversation with a co-worker about religion/faith the other day. she's looking for a church because her son will be two years old soon. i know that's why a lot of people decide to try to figure out what they believe in and they want a place they can go to learn how to best raise their kids in a moral way.

i get that. really, it makes sense.

but for me? i just want to figure out this faith thing for myself. but i have to be honest. i say that, yet i don't really do anything about it except think about it. i do think about it a lot though.

but i come back to the same conclusion (again, with no other effort outside of thinking about it). that i tried my hardest to "get it" (that thing they call Christianity) for 15 years. that's a long time. and i didn't get it.

the 3 times i've gone to church in the past 2.5 years? i felt weird. not a good weird.

so i don't know.

but i'll keep thinking about it.

0-60 in ...

So from late March when I left UNT and returned to Seattle until September 13 when I started my new job at North Seattle Community College, my schedule went a little like this:

9-ish...wake up (although really this varied from 8-ish to 10ish)
9-11 am watch Regis & Kelly, then The View
11 am - 3 pm some form of productivity, usually in the form of studying at a coffee shop
side note: okay, 11-3 is really generous. it was actually more like this:
11--leave house
11:30--arrive at coffee shop
11:45-12:00--order and set up computer
12:00-2:00--at best, this was my study time, usually partly spent checking email and Facebook because I don't have internet at home; some days, I decided to leave early and walk Jesse's dog because that was more fun
2:00-2:30--start packing up, because there could be traffic and I didn't want to be late for Ellen
2:30-3:00--drive back home
3-5 pm watch Ellen and Oprah
5 pm considered more productivity, but usually Jesse came home and that plan went to crap
*Note: On Wednesday mornings I was in class. The 11-3 study session generally did not happen on Wednesdays. Also, on Monday evenings I had my other class so I did deviate from the 5pm-bedtime routine on Mondays.

I took 2 courses in the Spring quarter for a grand total of 6 hours per week in class and as you saw above, perhaps 4 hours of quality study time each weekday.

In the summer quarter, I took a class for one month in June, requiring approximately 6 hours per week in class and some study time (see above).

I spent the rest of the summer leisurely working on my General Exam. It wasn't a piece of cake, but let's face it. When it's ALL you are doing (literally), there were a lot of days I didn't touch it. Or I put in some token amount of time so I didn't feel completely lazy.

Enter September 13th, 2010.
I now have been working full-time and started my last two courses this Fall quarter. My schedule looks like this:
Monday: work 8-3:30; class 4:30-7
Tuesday: work 8-5:30; standing appointment 6-7
Wednesday: work 8-5:30; run whatever errands have been neglected
Thursday: work 8-3:30; class 4:30-7
Friday: work 8-4:30; refuse to do anything but lay on the couch
Saturday-Sunday: study, study, study

Since this is my last quarter of coursework, I am convinced I will survive because I only have to keep this schedule up for 9 weeks. Surely, that's possible. Although I very nearly fell asleep while the President of NSCC spoke at a meeting yesterday, and I'm only in week 2.

We will see if I still have a pulse by December 9th.

Mount Rainier National Park

One of the things on my Washington Bucket List has been to go to Mount Rainier. So, in July I booked one of Jesse's good friends who is an Eagle Scout and avid hiker/camper to be our guide for a weekend adventure on September 11-12. John brought along his gal, Kiara, and voila! We had a double camp date!

Wilkeson, WA is the last town before entering the park so we took a cute picture at this caboose.

We're in the park!

See?

The boys made it to the park too.

Probably my new favorite picture of Jesse and me (with Carbon River behind us).

While John was our group expert, he still got some advice from Ranger Joe at the station.

Packs on--we're ready to hike! We hiked 5 miles (only 600 feet gain in elevation) to our campsite.

And the rear view...

Pretty Mount Rainier National Park

Our lunch spot (bagel sandwiches with salami & muenster cheese--yum!)

The boys started blabbing about video games, so Kiara and I took off ahead.

We made it to camp!

After setting up camp, we took off for an 8 mile (round trip) hike to Carbon Glacier. This was NOT for the faint of heart. Here I am with the river we had to cross on these teeny little bridges.

Clouds in the mountains

At one point, we were afraid we might run out of water on the hike. John pondered what to do...

Jesse found the perfect solution! We could fill our bottles at the falls!

Jesse & me at Ipsut Falls

Can you find me in the picture?

John is the photo bomb champion. I had NO idea he did this until I looked back at our pictures later in the evening.

But apparently, one photo bomb wasn't enough.

Crossing one of the teeny bridges.

Suspension bridge! So scary!

Jesse and I made it to Carbon Glacier! So dirty it doesn't look like a glacier!

This mossy stuff was both cool and creepy.

After 13 miles of hiking, we were tiiiiiired. So we settled in with hot cocoa. Wait, who's that guy without a headlamp?

Look at my beef cake pumping us some filtered water from the river...so dreamy.

Group shot at Chenuis Falls on the 5 mile hike back in the next day. These falls were much more beautiful!

Jesse and I at Chenuis Falls

I was a little sad to not see the actual Mount Rainier from our spot in the park (blocked by mountains, oh the irony). John, Kiara, Jesse, and I are already planning to go back next year and hit up another part of the park closer to Mount Rainier, like Sunrise.

Did I mention?

I got my first full-time, permanent position in Seattle EVER! (Unless you count The Crazy Place, otherwise known as The Art Institute, which I don't.)

I am the newest academic advisor (technically, Student Success Specialist--ooh fancy) at North Seattle Community College, where I filled in for an advisor on maternity leave for 5 months before going back to Texas. I love the staff I worked with and the students are awesome! I'm also looking forward to things such as a steady paycheck and health insurance (now that I get the pins yanked out of my finger at what I believe is my last appointment with the hand surgeon this Friday).

My first day is tomorrow!

PS Jesse and I went hiking/camping at Mt. Rainier National Park this weekend with some friends...it was awesome and we got lots of great pictures that will be posted soon so stay tuned!

Texas Vacay 2010

Cousins--Witt, Lacey & Annie

Vacation in Texas last month was awesome! I spent a week in South Texas at the condo with the fam. They've been mentioned on the blog lots, but because it can get confusing here is a cast of characters:
Royce & Cynthia (uncle & aunt)
Royce (aka Big Un), Lauren, Lacey, & Annie (cousin, his wife, and their 2 girls)
Witt (cousin Beau & wife Ann's precious baby)
Kate (awesome cuz)
Gayle & Lynn (great aunt & uncle)

Witt loves his bouncy chair--he stayed happily in it once for 45 minutes!

Lovely South Texas coast

Chillin' with Lacey

Big Un, Lauren, Lacey & Annie

Lauren & Annie in the pool

Two of my favorites! Cynthia & Gayle

Baby Witt--he's so beautiful!

Gayle & Lacey

Lauren & Witt

Red fish...dinner was usually the catch of the day

Auntie Pegs & Baby Witt

Gayle & the kiddos

Lacey helps feed Witt

Royce (aka Pops) and Witt)

Kate, Gayle, Cynthia, & Pegs

Ladies' Pedicures--Lacey & Annie got butterfly chairs!

Silly Lacey

Cynthia & Annie

Pops & Witt

Annie prepared herself for a nap

Auntie Pegs & Annie

The Second Half--At the Byrd House in Round Rock

While I did see Josh, Amy, Mels, and Summer, you'll notice my only pics were of Emma! Here she is with the Seattle Space Needle cup I brought her.

Chillin' at the pool

Loving the water!

So I did get one with Josh & Amy...and Emma of course!

Auntie Pegs & Emma

I had A LOT of Chick-Fil-A while in Texas...it was everything I remembered it to be. Sweet, sweet chicken bliss...especially when paired with a cookies 'n' cream milkshake!